crazy

Every morning of my mission, for the first couple months at least, I would wake up wondering where I was. It was a long adjustment. I am having that same experience again every time I wake up, which is closer to every couple hours now rather than every morning. I will hear this baby crying and it will get into my dreams and I'll wonder whose baby it is. Or I'll wake up and not remember who was supposed to be taking care of him. I'll expect him to be on my chest and he's not and then sort of freak and out and wonder if John has him or if he's in his bed. I'll hear cries and think I am imagining that theres a baby crying and then realize it is a real baby and it is my baby. Sometimes I feel really sane and with it. Other times I think maybe I'm losing my mind. Having a new baby and being a new mother is a lot of things. A serious adjustment is one of those.