Friday, April 24, 2015

Crazy

Wow! I am the mother of a one month old baby boy! That is a dream come true. I have looked forward to motherhood my entire life and now that it is here, I will admit it hasn't been as rosy as I'd expected. But it is a beautiful journey that I look forward to continuing.

Week 1 looked a bit like this: (Gordon spent 5 days in the NICU) I was scared, emotional, but confident everything would be ok, had very mixed feelings of going home without a baby, unfulfilled, confused. Constantly battling between being hopeful and worried about his condition. Overjoyed when we finally brought him home and terrified that we were finally bringing him home.

Week 2: This is too hard, can we give him back? I'm not sure this was a good idea. I can't do this. It's too much. I'm too tired. I want to give up. Someone please make this baby stop crying. I love him so much but I just don't know if I can handle this any longer.

Week 3: I am starting to like this baby. He's pretty darn cute and I think I'm capable of getting through this. We're going to be okay after all. It's going to get better, please let it just keep getting better.

Week 4: Scared to have John going back to work. Empowered at realizing that I can handle anything that comes my way. We can do this. It's all going to be ok. It's all going to be great.

He is really getting easier to take care of and I am getting stronger emotionally, mentally, physically even. We are doing really well. He is our world and we feel incredible blessed to have him in our lives, teaching us how to love better and be more patient. I am excited to see what the next month holds for our little family! :)

3 comments:

yomama said...

2nd month is waaaaaaaay easier!!

Lizzie said...

i have been wanting to call you and catch up! that first month/first 6 weeks is killer. such a shock. nobody can ever prepare you for all of the emotions you will have. he is so dang cute and filling out so nicely. xox

Leif Erickson said...

Love this post Linds. So proud of you guys. Dad