Deleted

Wazzzuuup. So, I did a thing. I deleted my Facebook. Not shocking information, as I have regularly deactivated my Facebook over the last 5 years and gotten back on only for specific short term purposes. But this time I permanently deleted it as opposed to just deactivating (which is the option they readily offer and allows you to reactivate anytime just by logging back in). You really have to dig to find out how to permanently delete your account/page, which I did, and now it's gonezo forever. Wooh!

I've done a few other things too, over the last few months. I deleted Instagram from my phone. I can still check it on my laptop but I rarely do. I turned off all notifications on my phone except for actual phone calls. My phone buzzes 0-5 times a day now. I also deleted any apps or widgets on my phone that show news articles, including the hardest one for me to get rid of: GOOGLE. I'm still not used to searching in the chrome app but... it keeps me from seeing the 10-20 articles that populate when I get on. I don't have games on my phone. I did for a short time a few months ago and they sucked me in so hard that I knew I had to quit them.

Why do I hate the world and not want to be a part of it you ask?

I am extremely susceptible to the negative influences of social media and the news.  They make me depressed, feel bad about myself, anxious. Remember the recent story about the french bulldog on the United flight? I laid in bed for 5 nights in a row thinking about that, not able to fall asleep because of it. I just don't want to or need to know what's going on all the time. If it's important, I will find out. Everything else is just noise or worse. All the notifications give me this false sense of urgency when none of it is urgent. It's just constantly interrupting my day, my thoughts, keeping me from real things worthy of my time/energy/focus. I will still incorporate these into my life, just on my terms in my own time. I have to be the gatekeeper of my own mind because no one else will do it for me.

I'm hoping to read more books, meditate, listen to more music, get down on the floor and play with my kids more and not have such a hard time falling asleep. I just want to be happy and give myself fully to the people I am with, when I am with them, namely my children, husband, friends and family. And these are some necessary steps for me in this pursuit.

I'll let you know how it goes.